Parody Time
by NintendoGal55
Summary: The notorious NG55 makes parodies of the cliches in Hey Arnold fanfiction!
1. Chapter 1

**I am getting this out of my system, and making fun of it all. So if you're going to be offended and whine and cry like a big baby, that's not my problem. :) I'm doing this for fun. **

**I'm making fun of some cliches that I've noticed in the HA! Fanfiction Fandom...and some other series too. XD**

**And also, I am not going to hurt any shippers in the process. So HA! *Smirks***

**I may do more parodies if the demand is high. :D  
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**Enjoy and have fun. I do not own the characters.**

XXX

"I am breaking up with you, Helga." Said Arnold in a dramatic way.

"But why?.!" Helga cries.

"Because I don't want you anymore. You're too complex and a bitch. I need a girl who's bland, uninteresting, beautiful, and just super easy to be with. In fact, I am in love with that girl right now. Her name is Camilla Masterson...otherwise known as Generic Gorgeous Bombshell Babe #56651810." Arnold grins.

"But you never even MET the girl!" Helga wails.

"I'm in love with her! She's beautiful! That means she's perfect for me!" Arnold dances off. "Bye bye, BITCH!"

"Nooooooooo! Why?" Helga cries into the night. "Oh Arnold I hate and love you now! Screw you!"

Helga runs home and cries. Phoebe comforts her before running off with horny Gerald!

The next day at school, Arnold is making out and proposing to Camilla, who squeals and accepts before she skips off to go cheat on him, and buy a wedding dress. Helga hates them both!

"Hi Helga." Says Max Peters, or otherwise known as, Generic Gorgeous Hot Hunk #11601300. He is her best guy friend.

"Hi Maxy, I am so sad today!" She rushes into his arms and cries.

"Awww...there there, my poor friend, I will comfort you and woo you into my arms." Max says.

"Oh Max!"

They go on a date, and Helga finds that Max has treated her better than Arnold ever could. After all, he liked her right away and said it, even when she was mean to him.

"I liked you since the beginning, because I am not dense and stupid, even though you were mean to me, I knew it was because you liked me!" Said Max.

"Oh MAXY!" Helga squeals happily. "I love you! But let's not date yet! I want to flirt and love it, but I have to get over the BIG BAD JERKFACE!"

"Sounds great, Helgie-Poo!" Max cries happily.

"Wow! I love that, too! Arnold never calls me that! He just called me sweet names like sweetie and love and Hammerhead!"

"Who cares about him?"

"Exactly!"

"Helga! Take me back!" Arnold suddenly shows up.

"Sorry Arnold, but she hates you and loves me." Max smirks. "You ruined your chances big time, because that's obvious. She is the girl, and therefore the victim. You are the guy, and therefore the jerk who ruins everything and hurts her."

"That's right, shithead!" Helga sneers. "Go die in a hole! You deserve ALL THE PAIN FROM HELL! GO DIE! I HATE YOU!"

And so, Helga and Max got married and had twelve kids. Arnold meanwhile rotted away and died early. He became ugly and fat, no one wanted him, and all the girls hate him. No one remembered him. He died alone. Nobody threw a funeral. That was his lifelong punishment. He went to Hell.

Max and Helga went to Heaven and were together for all their lifetimes because they were meant to be.

XXX

"...What the heck was that?" Helga blinked her eyes, turning to Arnold.

"I don't know, Helga. But it was pretty stupid." Arnold said with a frown. "I would never treat you like that."

"And I wouldn't rush into another man's arms so quickly." Helga shook her head. "So, you want to go get some ice cream?"

Arnold smiled then. "Sure. That sounds like a great idea."

"Your treat! Nothing on the cheap!" Helga smirked playfully.

"Whatever you say, Helga." Arnold grinned and took her hand, leading her toward Slausen's.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well, since you guys liked the last one...I'll make some more! :D**

**XD This one is way more stupid than the last one.**

**XXX**

"ROAAAAAAAAARRR! I AM A RAGING FUCKING BITCH!" Helga screamed. "EVERYONE FEAR ME! I HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING! I LOVE MY ANGER! IT PROTECTS ME! I HATE YOU ALL! GO TO FUCKING HELL AND DIE! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Helga! Stop being a raging bitch!" Phoebe wailed.

"GO TO HELL PHOEBE! I HATE YOU GO AWAY! AND BY THE WAY GET ME SOME CHOCOLATE MILK WITH A BENDY STRAW! ROOOOAARRR!" Said Helga.

"I hate you! Never call me again!" Phoebe ran away.

"I AM GOING TO DO DRUGS AND SMOKE AND DRINK ALCOHOL! ESPECIALLY SMOKING BECAUSE I DON'T CARE THAT THE WRITER OF THIS STORY FINDS IT OFFENSIVE SINCE HER MOTHER SMOKES AND DOES NOT LIKE TO SEE THIS PORTRAYED! HAHAHAHA!"

"I smoke too!" Arnold grinned. "Because I fell into peer pressure and I can't be perfect and I must have a flaw! So, I chose smoking, even though there are many other kinds of flaws I could have."

"ROOOOAAARRR! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING PRICK! HOW DARE YOU NOT SEE THAT I LOVED YOU ALL ALONG EVEN THOUGH I'M A BITCH TO YOU ALL THE TIME!" Yelled Helga. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!"

"You are so mean!" Arnold sniffled.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! EVEN THOUGH I SAY HORRIBLE THINGS AND AM NASTY TO YOU, YOU CAN'T! BECAUSE YOU'RE A MAN AND I'M A WOMAN! AND I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MEAN TO ME OTHERWISE I WILL GET ANGRY AND SAD AND THEN YOU ARE A JERK! !" Helga yells.

"I'm going to sulk for three days and then wonder why I thought you were pretty!" Arnold wailed.

"Arnold! I am a slut! Let me suck your dick!" Lila squealed.

"Sure Lila! I love you!" Arnold grinned.

"Arnold! I don't like you like you, I just like you!" Lila gasped. "Don't come near me!"

"But Lila..."

"Hold me Arnold! I'm ever so sad!"

"I'm going to have us re-hash the exact same scenario from the series!" Arnold said. "Lila, go out with me to the movies!"

"No! It will seem too much like a date!" Lila cried.

"Let's go to the Cheese Festival again!" Arnold said.

"Sure!" Lila squealed. "Win me stuff, buy me stuff and spend a lot of money on me, let me puke on you, let me take you away from the cool rides and let me ruin bumper cars! And oh, save my life! Do all of that again! And let me either turn you down, or give you false hope that we never talk about again!"

"Because I'm still a dense, stupid, blinded lovesick idiot and we're re-hashing the same scenario from the series even though I'm seventeen and haven't learned a thing, I'm just going to accept it with a big stupid grin!" Arnold grinned.

"I am Gerald and I am the voice of reason and by the way Helga Pataki sucks!" Gerald said.

"Helga is awesome even though she is a bitch!" Said Arnold.

"ROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAARRR! I HATE EVERYONE FOR NO REASON AT ALL AND I HATE MY FAMILY! I HATE EVERYONE!" Helga roared.

"Hey Helga. Be mine instead." Said Brainy. "ARNOLD! YOU ARE A JERK AND DON'T DESERVE HELGA! YOU ARE IN THE WRONG AND SHE IS IN THE RIGHT! ALWAYS! THAT'S THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS! YOU'RE THE JERK AND SHE'S THE VICTIM!"

"Why are you yelling?" Asked Arnold.

"I don't know." Brainy shrugged. "So what just happened?"

"I don't know."

~XX~

"ROOOOAAAARRR! PHOEBE ARNOLD IS A JERK! I HATE HIM! HE WAS MEAN TO ME!" Helga screamed.

"You deserved it!" Phoebe said.

"YOU'RE BEING MEAN TO ME TOO! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"We're in school!"

"GET. THE. HELL. OUT!"

~XX~

"Helga, you love me!" Said Arnold.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Helga screamed, tossing him out her front door.

"You can't handle the truth! Stop throwing me out!"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Helga?"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

"Can-"

"GET OUT!"

"I-"

"GET OUT!"

~XX~

"I'm Rhonda and I'm a slut with a douchebag boyfriend!" Rhonda danced.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Helga screamed.

"We're in the middle of class!" Said a random student.

"EVERYONE GET OUT! I AM ANGRY AND NEED TO BE ALONE AND CAN'T FACE A TRUTH I SHOULD BE FACING SO I RESORT TO THE KICKING YOU OUT CLICHE! OUT OUT OUT OUT!"

~XX~

"Helga, I love you!"

"I HATE YOU! YOU ARE TOO LATE! I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!" Helga screamed.

Arnold began crying.

And they never got together. Ever. Because they suck together. Arnold married Lila and ended up divorced. They got married again. Then divorced. It went on for sixty years.

Helga died and hated everyone and everyone hated her.

The End.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey, I'm sure glad you guys are enjoying this! X3 :D Thanks a lot!**

**Today, we'll be looking at more silly stupid stereotypes! Oh boy! :D This time involving the post-TJM Miles and Stella stuff!**

**Also a little crossover. XD**

**Enjoy!**

XXX

"We have a HUGE announcement to make! OH BOY!" Miles yelled happily.

"YES! Even though you have your life here in Hillwood, all your friends and school and your girlfriend, we don't care about that! We're bored with city life! We want adventure! So we're going to leave and go around the world and San Lorenzo so that we can feel young again! And you're coming too, Arnold! No ifs, ands, maybes or buts!" Stella grinned.

"But what about my life here in Hillwood?" Arnold whined.

"Who cares about that?" Miles snorted. "Please! It's not about you, stupid child! It's about US! We're bored! We want adventure!"

"Exactly! And we know you want adventure too!" Stella squealed.

"I do, but not now! I don't want to leave!" Arnold whined again.

"TOO BAD!" His parents laughed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Arnold wailed. "I mean, YES! ALL RIGHT! ADVENTURE FOR ME! SO LONG, SUCKERS!"

"Arnold, why? Why are you leaving me? I need you more than the stupid Green Eyes do!" Helga cried.

"Who cares about you? You're a stupid bitch. I can't WAIT to leave you! So let's break up! YES! I'M FREE! SAN LORENZO HOT CUNTS, HERE I COME!" Arnold cried happily.

"NOOOO! I'm going to Halloween Town! To be with the monsters!" Helga yells as she runs to the graveyard and goes through a tombstone.

"...What was that?" Gerald wondered.

"I don't know, but I think the author is being weird." Said Phoebe.

XXX

"Oh no! What's happened?" Helga cried. "Sally! Sally help me! What's happened?"

"It's horrible!" Sally cried. "Some new demon woman came to town and stole Jack away from me!"

"No! That's terrible! What's her name?"

"I think it was Celestia Luna Marianne Izayoi Ayumi Seraphina Kawaii Desu Ne Patricia Glinda Dorothy Hinata Elizabeth Yoko Isabelle Zelda Ilia Midna Bella Swan Alice Rosalie Bella Akari Hermione Galadriel Sakura Anastasia Eowyn Sparkleskirt Karin Cinderella Juliette Kurotsuchi Marina Cullen! The Third!"

"Oh no! ...By the way, isn't this supposed to be for Hey Arnold?"

"Yes it is, but this is a preview for our movie, of course!"

"Oooh! Okay! So uh, can you make me a new dress?"

"Sure! Oh, and by the way, if I suddenly become an out of character bitch throwing myself at Jack while he's with his new girl and then banned from here, stop me, okay?" Said Sally.

Helga whistled, and the nodded. "Right! I got ya! ...Who would be stupid enough to do that?"

"Authors who hate me for no reason." Sally said sadly.

"Oooh. So, can I hang here for a while?"

"Yes!"

XXX

"I am in San Lorenzo! WOW!" Arnold cried happily. "So, time to find some hot babes! Oh BOY! I love Helga, but who cares about that stupid bitch? TIME TO MOVE ON! WHOO! Come hither, beautiful ladies!"

"We're never going back!" Miles yelled happily.

"YAY!" Arnold danced. "That's the life for me! Lalalalalala! THAT'S THE LIFE FOR ME!"

"Hi, I'm Generic Gorgeous Bombshell #156165105500005! Wanna be my boyfriend?" Said GGB.

"Definitely!" Arnold grinned. "Helga who?"

XXX

"Well, it's happened. I'm banned from the town." Sally sighed.

"I'm banned from Hillwood. Everyone hates me and doesn't want me to be there for Arnold getting back. Lila might just steal him because she's a whore." Helga groaned. "So, want to go to Canada?"

"Sure." Sally nodded. "Where else can we go?"

"Who knows. ...Man, I'll bet Arnold doesn't even remember me."

"You said it...Jack probably hates me now."

"Let's go, Sal."

And off they went!

So it turned out, in either side of the worlds... Arnold came back to Hillwood and everyone kept Helga a secret from him. He didn't even remember her. He married Lila, who cheated on him, and then he married some generic woman and had twelve kids. He was not happy, something was missing. But who cares? He moved on!

Helga lived life alone in Canada, with her buddy Sally by her side. They made a fine living, but were miserable without their respective love interests.

THE END! ...For now. :D


End file.
